You suck at being you

You know those super successful, ridiculously clever, insanely hot women who you are utterly terrified of because you know that in a glance they're able tell what a complete and utter loser scumbag you are, but at the same time, somewhere at the back of your deluded little mind, you think that secretly she likes a bit of rough?

Well here she is, and no, she doesn't.